What you’re looking at is the October 2010 mug shot of Alyse Lahti Johnson after she was pulled over for DUI. Turns out she’s Tiger Woods‘new girlfriend proving God really does have a sense of humor after all.(Those nuclear reactors in Japan? Two days away from launching a fuelrod into a scientist’s groin. Now that’s comedy!) So not only has Tigersignificantly downgraded from Elin Nordegren who he epically cheated on, but he’s dating a Faces of Meth candidate who’s already blabbing to friends how’s she using him. RadarOnline reports:
“She sent a BBM to a mutual friend of ours saying shedidn’t consider herself Tiger’s girlfriend. They were just having agood time hooking up,” the source tells us.Shorter version: She does anal.
“That’s in keeping with Alyse’s personality, the source says. “She is areally nice girl, smart and super friendly. And she’s also a bit of awild child. She definitely likes to have fun.”
Alright, look, I understand Tiger probably doesn’t want anythingserious either, but you’d think with his money he’d be able to buy anywoman he wants, starting with one who doesn’t look like she stealspills from the elderly during her shift at an Arkansas nursing home. IfI were him, I’d be chasing my ex-wife’s twin sister with a sack full ofdiamonds and yacht keys, but that’s just me and my fear of changecoupled with a deep appreciation for Swedish models. Did I mentionshe’s also white? Just tossing that out there.
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